Vhanon, these days Im in process of taking a decision about my further actions and behavior. I’d love to do something for him but I think I can’t. Your last post made me go – wow, that’s exactly what it is. Im so grateful for talking to you! I had doubts about sharing my hardest life quest and Im so glad it turned this way! I think I got my answers, your words are like missing puzzle.

I really can’t do anything in role of a girlfriend. All this social roles thing is very interesting isn’t it.
I liked an article a lot and I want to share it with you. I agree with the idea of solo spinning:
Spin solo until you are in perfect harmony with source and are able to create magic alone. Then you can, if you choose, attract someone who can spin along side you. The result is two beautiful souls who are spinning separately, but in perfect harmony… that’s where magic happens!

This is something I can’t do with my boyfriend. The link is here, hope it’s interesting for you

The question left- what to do with romantic feelings and why they are so enduring? I can’t accept such attitude anymore, this is very clear already, it destroys me. You asked about examples of manipulative behavior above, well, almost all the tactics on the list, constant guilt for everything what’s said or not said, done or not done, changing his mind too often and taking words back, accusing verbally, not appreciating my efforts and even my schedule, my free time, my health, my achievements. Im never good enough, I never did enough and whatever I say and believe in is bullshit. Uncontrolled emotional explosions.

But I still feel that it’s not his fault, I know he is amazing person and could be anything he wants, yes, it requires hard inner work but it’s not impossible. At the moment though I don’t have a proper position in his life and I don’t have inner resource left to help him and it makes me very sad.

Probably answers will come with time.

Thank you for being with me here! I appreciate your concern!
Namaste