I think I messed up big time and everyone knows it which is why I’m treated like the dunce and have no choice but to accept it. As the day goes on I feel more and more miserable. Sometimes I just want to cry but I just grit my teeth and let the sorrow become my countenance while my colleagues laugh away. My doctor suggested anti-depressants on top of my anti-psychotics so is probably my only option. Other than that, I guess I’ll just have to keep my head down for another year to get my qualification, travel places in my holidays and pay my bills and debts. I really expect a lot better from myself so maybe when I have some savings I can look at doing something else.