Hi Nina, it’s natural for things to feel shady and un-clear because you haven’t spoken to that person yet. Nobody should be mean to you, a mature woman will be compassionate towards you and respect your feelings. If someone was mad at me or upset with me, I’d rather they talk to me in person than carry that grief around, makes me sad bc I think I hurt my ex with the intentions of not wanting to hurt her but just to know her childhood better. I’m a person who wants to make things better, that’s me anyway and the way I am. Wanting answers & peace from someone and the situation is not chasing, it shows that you respect your feelings and yourself enough to want to do something about it hun. Also, don’t ever feel stupid, we have all been there and we all need someone to talk to about our feelings. It’s not a waste of time writing about your feelings, it’s actually healthy. You are certainly not wasting my time, that I assure you. I come to this website from time to time for inspiration and accidentally came upon your post. Anyway, please try contact this person if you can, it will be a great weight lifted of your shoulders to talk to this person. Who knows, maybe something really beautiful might come out of talking to her. You may find that you two have a lot in common. Was this a long friendship or ex-lover? Talk soon.