When we are hurt, it is easy to imagine the thoughts and feelings of the other person, and make them into those that will hurt us most badly. But those ideas we have about what the other person is thinking and feeling… they’re illusions. The most important thing now is how YOU are feeling.

You are hurt. You feel used, and confused. You feel anger towards him, even while you long for his return. These feelings are natural and normal, like any other break up.

For the time being, I wouldn’t mention this to your husband. Your mind is naturally and understandably clouded with painful emotions and it will be too difficult to make the right choice at this time. To help your healing, be kind to yourself, as you would be to your dearest friend. Eat and drink as well as you can, and try to get some exercise every day. Don’t scold yourself, or shame yourself. Things will be clearer with time.