Hi Sapnap,

I just wanted to offer you some support through your struggle. I imagine being in a place that is not home and where you don’t have a support system would be really hard. And then on top of it, you lose your phone – your connection to that support system (!) and you are all of a sudden completely alone and forced to look at yourself. I deal a lot with self hatred too. But, I can say it has lessened considerably in the last couple years as I have come out of hard times stronger. I think that’s what’s happening with you – you are going through some character building, life changing tough times. To me, the fact that you could move to another continent speaks to the fact that you are incredibly strong. You may not see it now, because you are in the thick of it, but believe me – you are STRONG. Your reasons for moving to Ireland don’t matter – the fact that a man that you don’t have contact with anymore played a part in it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are there now – it is where you are supposed to be. And who knows why – it just is. 🙂

As for the self hate, while I still struggle sometimes, I know what helps was really starting to realize that I would never think about anyone as negatively as I was thinking about myself. And what purpose was my self hate and negative self chatter doing? Abso-freakin-lutely none. It sounds cliche, but when I really embraced and believed it, it helped – we are all different. There is only ONE of you. JUST ONE. That’s amazing. So just be you and love yourself. None of us need more people to put us down, but we can always use more people building us up. Be that to yourself.

Good luck. 🙂