Hi Mermaid (and thank you for correcting my username. I’m not always so tech friendly),

I really appreciate you responding. You and I sound a lot alike and I wish you the best on your journey to inspire others through your recovery!

When I had the time last year to relax and research my disease and such, it was the first time in my life I discovered a newfound confidence. I stumbled across the tinybuddah sight one night, searching for a forum of kind folks who understood my pain and were willing to lend an ear and loving advice. I had reached a point in my recovery where I realized I had no idea who I was anymore – in a good way. I could no longer identify with the pain I had felt for decades. Of course I thought I was going crazy, as it had been years since I felt balanced and happy, so I searched for people who could identify with my struggles and pay it forward in a kind way, as I hope to do for others along the way.

I had never felt so connected with the Universe, with nature and life, itself. I wanted to share the joy with others and help others find enlightenment as I had, so much so, that I wrote a seven page letter to five major magazines in the Country, as well as Ellen, Oprah and the popular local news radio station, encouraging them to discover ways to spread alcohol awareness to their audience. It’s not telling people to quit drinking – it’s asking to raise awareness to help reduce crime rates and possibly save thousands of lifes a year. Not long after, a drunk driver crashed in to a crowd of pedestrians in my city, killing a few and injuring several others. Bieber also got in trouble for his foolish ways due to addiction. I do believe these things can be prevented if given enough awareness early on in life, rather than just teaching children how to pass a test.

Addiction nearly destroyed my life, yet I was fortunate to have received a second chance to live this life in a way I was meant to do. Help others. Pay it forward. Love.

Other than the supportive local radio station, I never heard back from anyone in the media, which is fine, I’m just happy to have begun noticing an increasing awareness in addiction. It’s important to me. Unfortunately, it is still difficult for many close to me to understand my passion to influence in such a broad manner. It is also difficult for them to grasp the true nature of alcoholism. With that said, it does not create a leniency in others to lay off the pressure to get things done on their timeline. Hence the current bind. Pressured in to figuring out real estate or quit altogether and settle.

My fiance supports my dreams but we do not have the funds for training. We are receiving support from his parents, which also adds enormous amounts of pressure. I am grateful for the assistance, but it makes me ashamed of myself. I have always wanted to give my parents everything and more. I have always supported myself and helped out family and friends when I could. It makes me increasingly uncomfortable, being supported by my future in-laws, as the days turn to months, to over a year. I am spiraling in to hopelessness and dread and can’t seem to get it together when I need to the most.

I guess you could say it really comes down to fear. Getting stuck doing something I dislike, knowing I could do so much more to help, yet never figuring out just how to break through and stumble across somebody who sees my talent and my purpose. Many people I know do see it all, but it seems in the writing world, in order to get something published, or at the very least, noticed, it’s all about who you know. Thanks to my former career, I know plenty of influential individuals…but no one in that field.

Do you have any suggestions as to where people can look to submit their creative writing for possible hire? All I seem to find are technical jobs, but nothing in the field I am interested in pursuing.

Also, has anyone else pursued and reached their dreams of helping others, on a large scale? If so, what steps did you take to acheive this goal?

Thank you again, for your time and helpful advice!