@Fritz said:
Thanks to both of you for sharing. I have also dealt with anxiety for many years-and i think that seeing your counsellor is a great step forward already. I have always wished that i could just let certain things slide, and be a relaxed and person who can just enjoy life. Exercise, music, and dancing (sometimes by myself 😉 really tends to help me when i’m feeling anxious or stressed, or disconnected. But I would say one of the most important things I have found helpful, is finding my passions in life-and just going after them.

Have you considered volunteering, or working for a cause that you feel really passionate about? Helping other people, or being a part of a group of people either working towards a goal, or just learning something new that you may be interested in? I know motivation can be a tricky thing to overcome with anxiety/depression-i completely understand. But I feel like recognizing my passions in life, has really helped me give focus to the outside world, i find that my anxiety tends to keep me in my own mind and space, , and has helped me to reconnect with other people. Start out small with something you feel comfortable with, and allow yourself to take your time and be patient with yourself. Thank you, to the commentor above, for talking about personal acceptance-it is truly so important.The books and blogs and such can be really great tools too, check out “The Tao of Pooh” byBen Hoff. But getting out there, and finding your passions, whatever they are will along the way help with the motivation.

All the best to you 🙂

Hi Fritz.
Thank you for writing back to my question…

I agree that finding a passion is very important.
I go back and forth between feeling like I’m an amazing musician (www.soundcloud.com/stefan-lay) to not wanting to pick up an instrument, because I’m too depressed and un-inspired. I struggle with this a lot, as I’m the kind of guy who wants feedback and when I put out music and don’t hear anything, I assume it means I haven’t got what it takes and should give up.

When I go to a gig and watch a band on stage, I can’t help thinking ‘I could never do that. My anxiety won’t allow it. I can’t lie to myself and force myself on stage. It would be a disaster’. Now, I know that I can use CBT to say I’m ‘fortune telling’ and what not, but it seems like such a real and truthful thought, that I question it no further.

What are your passions and how have you managed to fit them into your life. despite your anxiety?
I feel like I’m destined to enter another job that I’ll hate because of my fears and the state of the economy (and my money running out).
I’d love to be able to do something I’m passionate about, and make a living from it, but it feels like that just can’t happen – at least for now.
Because sometimes I’m so tired, I can’t find the strength to sing.
And I get depressive and hate on myself.
I could list a bunch of reasons…

I know it’s up to me, but most of the time I find that scary. I feel like I’m not prepared for adult life and looking after myself. And I’m so sick of being scared of everything. I also feel disadvantaged because of my mental health and physical problems. I feel like the music industry is competitive enough as it is, but with these problems to fight through … HOW WOULD I STAND A CHANCE!?!?

As for volunteering, last weekend me and my girlfriend walked some dogs at a re-homing shelter.
I was in an awful mood – terrible headache and anxiety – so it didn’t make me feel better about myself, but I’m going to do it again this weekend or next. I agree it’s a good idea to take the focus off ourselves and our problems.

Cheers