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Hi there,
I am sorry that you are going through such hard times. It is painful but everything is going to be ok, I promise you that 🙂
First, breathe.
Second, stop analysing. You are painting your relationship a perfect picture because you just lost it. You are having withdrawal symptoms. Like an addict craving for his next dose. I kid you not. It has been verified by science.
Third, the chances of him still loving you a lot are high judging from his replies He is also in a lot of pain.
Fourth, if you want him to come back, no guarantee … but you have to sort yourself out first (for him and more importantly for yourself. I understand you have a lot going in your life but so does everyone. No one including your family, friends and him has an obligation to let you vent your frustrations on (I am not saying you do but the chances of you involuntarily doing that are high. I did that to my ex and I have friends and family doing that to me now). If you are a wreck, who wants to be around you? Everyone likes to be around genuinely happy people. Being happy seems unattainable in your current state now but it is ok. You have to let your emotions flow and don’t deny them but you have to learn how to express them in a constructive way. This takes time but it is ok 🙂
Fifth, exercise. Go out for runs or walks. Go outdoor and get some fresh air. Coping in your room doesn’t help at all. Listen to happy music. Just google them.
Hope this helps you a bit. I promise you, everything is going to be ok as long as you breathe 🙂
Hong