If there truly is a spiritual force at work in the universe and what the religions and Jesus said was true I can see it I this situation. Why did you commit this action that you now feel guilt over. We aren’t punished for sin, but we are punished by sin. Jesus told those who he healed that they would be forgiven for there sins if they believed they could be forgiven. He drove out the demons of those who had so much guilt some were paralyzed or blinded because of it. Right now you being haunted by a demon let it go. We are all tempted and later punished by our own guilt. But that is a good reazon to follow a philosophy of life. Overall, never put yourself in a situation like that again, be honest about it with yourself, a d concentrate on yourself being present to things besides just physical sensations and i know you said you were fighting yourself in your head, the ego(devil on our shoulder) can be very convincing which is why it is best to learn methods of hearing it but not listening. Then if you want you can give your all to someone and not worry and feel guilty of past mistakes.