Hi musingman23! I think you’re taking a great step already towards overcoming/controlling your anxiety by seeking out help – it took me years of feeling the desperation that can come with anxiety/depression before I even knew to start looking for answers.

I also would agree that the end of your relationship would be a definite trigger for your anxiety/panic attacks. Such a big life change going from a stable relationship that has taken up a proportion of your life, to not having that person, that life, that relationship anymore. I, too, had a 10 year relationship end (when 25 years of age) and this was a sure catalyst into depression for me from the generalised anxiety I’d suffered from since I was in primary school.

I’m not a success story necessarily – I’m not cured or ‘fixed’. But I am managing to live every day with my anxiety and not let it control me, and I think to me, that is success. I couldn’t get out of bed or face situations/work etc. many times since leaving school, couldn’t control my physical or emotional symptoms and outbursts or my negative thoughts. I have done cognitive behavioural therapy with a psychologist which I think was great – it gave me some great insight into my own thoughts and behaviours and some coping techniques – yoga and meditation are wonderful tools for controlling anxiety – along with exercise and eating a good diet. I found having ‘worry periods’ an effective tool in the past too – spending 10 or 20 minutes of designated, non-judgmental, uninterrupted time each morning (and night if need be) to journal all thoughts and worries that are rolling around in my head overwhelming me. They’re not there for you to analyse at this stage but to just get your thoughts out onto paper. Then you don’t allow yourself to think of those things again until your next worry period. I found this helped me compartmentalise my thoughts a bit more and get on with my day more productively than letting the thoughts overwhelm me and go about unchecked.

I did succumb 13 months ago to trying medication after many years of saying I would not try anti-depressants, but I couldn’t function anymore or get out of bed without bawling my eyes out at the prospect of another day, with no job (at the time), no structure etc. as my life changed again around me. It can be good to take some things into your control if you feel life is out of control – make some structure in your day and do things that soothe you and put you into control.

The anti-depressants have been amazing for the most part – I have longer periods (days now!) where I do not have anxiety attacks like I used to – where I feel I am in control of my life and actually ENJOY parts of my day and the fact that I am alive (this is a new sensation for me!) So perhaps you could talk to your doctor about trying an anti-depressant – and I only suggest this because it can help with traumatic times of our lives – to give us the added help needed to stabilise ourselves a bit to have the other things work – meditation/exercise/thought training etc.

Anyway, sorry for rambling! I just want you to know, that while like I said, I am not fixed or cured – I accept this, that anxiety is a part of me and my life and I make the conscious choice each day to not let it control me and take away the joy that the day may have in store for me. I hope you can take hope from us and feel this way too.