After hours thinking about what happen, I sent her one last email last night. I told her, I forgive her for what she has done and that if she ever needed help she can call me, but that any thing between us is over. I also told her I would give her my game account since I don’t need it any more. I mention other things in the letter, but that was the most important part of the email.
This single act released me of any guilt, regret, sadness, and hate. When I was writing the letter, I remember that forgiving is important in life. I used to be a Jehovah Witness when I was a child and teenager, but I left due to academic pursuit. People I knew didn’t treat me well after I left, but ultimately I was right and the organization made changes years later I told the elders and father needed to happen. I forgave every one that did me wrong. Like this women, I had a no forgive and no forget policy, but I learned that is a miserable way to live. That is why I forgive her for what she has done. When I sent that letter, all of my frustration, anger, sadness, regret, and guilt vanished. I feel happy once again. I am in the right. She can’t hurt me in any way. If she chooses to accept my help, she must admit she was wrong. I told her in the letter that maybe when she matures more, she will remember what I told her and recognize that I was in the right.
I know those elders and my father later recognize I was in the right. I know many felt afterwards I was unjustly push out of the organization cause I wanted to purse a scientific career and not spend as much time at church or going out for door to door service. At time, the organization stress short careers that didn’t require huge time commitments. Profession like a doctor, engineer, or a PhD were not encourage. She will realize this when she matures. Assuming this happens if not it doesn’t matter.
I’m happy for myself. I recognize that I have matured and it doesn’t matter if she understand why I’m doing what I am. What is important is what I think and feel is right.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 