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Reply To: Does anyone have any experience of ADHD in relationships?

HomeForumsRelationshipsDoes anyone have any experience of ADHD in relationships?Reply To: Does anyone have any experience of ADHD in relationships?

#71783
Sunfl0wer
Participant

Maybe your expectations should be adjusted, I don’t know how a person decides that as I struggle with balancing my expectations myself. I can understand you may be hurt and that you may have less pain if you shift to expecting less, but like I said, idk how to get balance in that area for me either.

If that is what you think though… Maybe “picking your battles” is something to consider. Maybe think of one thing he is forgetful with but has desire to change. Instead of phrasing it that you are hurt. Be positive and encouraging? For example: “I really love it when you do ________, I wonder if I wrote it here on the calendar, sticky not etc, could you do that again Tuesday?” And maybe find another way to feel loved and reassured that doesn’t depend on him remembering specific things. Like maybe he can’t remember to txt everyday at lunch, but maybe he randomly gives you a love note that you can keep on your dresser?

Honestly tho, it is not easy to create new habits and simply use a calendar. Any change like that and to remember to be consistent will take lots of effort. Also, I sometimes get so involved with a task that it takes my entire focus. That I’m struggling to stay with the task and in a “mode” that to stop, switch gears, and call a BF would do too much to take me out of my mindset and often then I’ll not be able to easily switch back to being productive.

Lol Inky, if I didn’t have a FB, I would not know birthdays!

I hope something helps!