I’m sorry you’re going through such pain. But you are going through it. 5 months, 10, 15, however long it takes. If you were dating with the hope of marriage unfortunately that’s the price to pay. 2 years seems like a long time to realize it can’t result in that, but I do kind of understand the vacation excuse. Why play house so to speak if you know you shouldn’t go down that road at all? He said he wants someone with no expectations.

It will be difficult but try to pick 3 things to focus on and post them to remind yourself. A new hobby or an old one, a friend, charity work, regular work. For the next six months whenever you start dwelling on him again pick one of those things to focus on. Even if you’re just making a list or reading about it. You’ll still think of him but hopefully you’ll stop obsessing.