Blackage,

This environment is extremely toxic for you, obviously. Let their attitudes remind you of all the things you never want to do to your own children or family, remember these things. Every experience is a learning opportunity…. Of course you know that. You are there right now for a reason- you have to find it. Find the reason and move on. Your job from now ON is to get the hell out of that place and do what YOU want with your life. Not what THEY want. Crowd pleasing is going to make you a bitter and ugly person if you let them control you any longer. If they’re threatening your internet usage- which is almost threatening your life, future, and well being(your only escape from their hell and ABUSE). I can tell you right now, you’d receive more love, compassion, and encouragement by living in a homeless shelter. Im not joking you. This kind of life you have dealt with has gone on too long. In all actuality… I dont see them as “help”ing you anyways. Cut the cord and get away from them. Sad to say.. they are the toxic influences Im sure they once warned you about. Im wondering where you live… what state? Im guessing Ca or somewhere that is really hard to get ahead or stay afloat(ca is where im from orig I moved out of state for a better life). Either way… I wish you the best. I hope you get out of there before they can dig their claws any deeper into your self esteem etc. This situation is like you drinking poison. You might survive a little while but you sure wont thrive. Shut them out. Shut them down. Im so sorry you were given parents like these. I have family who makes me feel like a big piece of garbage too. They also were mean, ugly, hateful people-still are. The quality of person I have become has far exceeded any dream they could dream. I know who I am. I know what I am worth. And, their opinions dont measure my worth. I know this sounds somewhat immature but they can eat shit. I love myself and what I have to offer. Not everyone will, but as long as I like myself.. Ill be alright. (: