Thank you for your care and perspective Niyata. I agree with what you say and I have stuck by him, supporting him, counseling, but he does not see it still. I have been explaining that I am not her, for years, he has such trouble making connections with his feelings. I have PTSD too so I get it, not being able to connect with your feelings and being overwhelmed by them. He cannot tell what he is even feeling most time.

I know he is not sitting there consciously thinking of ways to hurt me but the result of him having feelings he doesn’t connect with, causes him to be reactive/over reactive and overprotective of himself and is hurtful to me just the same.

When I was dealing with these same things years ago from my own trauma, I could at least take on another persons perspective and also have compassion for them even tho I was scared. He is more emotionally underdeveloped and sees things as a child in that they are black and white/ good or bad. So if he feels hurt, he assumes I hurt him, assumes I’m abusing him and I am not. His cause and affect are all backwards. He is not malicious, but his delusions of me being against him get stronger, not less, with each disagreement we have. I can say there is no bread to my son, and he overhears interprets it as an attack, like as if I insulted his ability to provide, he desperately came to me the next day to show me that there was bread in the freezer. Then he was disappointed when I pointed out that I could not make French toast with that type, I meant that there was no sliced sandwich bread, it was no big deal at all to me. I can only imagine the abuse he endured when he behaves that way.

I do not want to leave him. (We still live together for now) He has broken up with me and I know it is because he is running from his PTSD. It is not what I wanted, but how things are unfolding. I have tried to influence things in the other direction.

Thank you for sharing with me Niyata. I have been through trauma and am forever grateful for those that helped me when I could not help myself. I am glad that you have received the support and compassion that you need.