i know EXACTLY how you feel. i just broke with him yesterday and the pain is atrocious. we were together for almost a year, having good times and bad. he, as well, an amazing person who loved everything about me, and i was always the one trying to change him. but no matter how hard he tried to make me happy, i was still not.

i thought about breaking up with him for a long long time but could never get the guts to do it until yesterday, when something in me just clicked, i felt like such a chicken sh*t for not being able to say that i did not want him anymore, so i just said it and it was horrible. i feel like the worst person ever, especially because it was also a holiday and he brought me a gift and flowers. but i am pretty sure i am a good person, because i have also tried, i have suffered a lot during this time, putting up with not being happy for the sake of the relationship, hoping that one day, all will be good. but it never was good. the fighting became worst and worst, our patience grew thin and even he admitted at one point that something was wrong about us.

being friends is not an option, no matter how much one would want that. sure, we will help each other if needed, but i cant bring myself to hurt him by being there everyday not as his girlfriend. it would be of no help to me as well. you cant just go back from being in love to being friends, there is too much history, too much resentment and one of the two will always want more (it will hurt if they dont get more). so its time to just let go and move on.

i pray to God that he is alright. i hope he gets everything he wants from a girl that will treat him and love him more and better than i ever could. he deserves that so so much.

i tried every day to care more, to like him more, but failed miserably every time. of course, now i feel like calling him and begging him to take me back… but it is better to give it time. at least a couple of weeks or months. because there is no point is getting back together with him, then doing this all over again, feeling unhappy all over again. if a few months pass, and i still feel this way, then i will beg for his forgiveness and we will hopefully get married. but if this bad horrible feeling of loss passes, and i am happier after, then i will know i made the right choice. only time will tell.

please give an update on your situation. i see that months have passed since you`ve posted your story. what happened? how are you?