hi bphkss. I don’t have any good advice unfortunately but I just wanted to let you know I can empathize and sympathize with you and I am sorry you feel this way.

One thing that I saw though was you mentioned that when you push yourself to get out and experience something new and interesting or even volunteer that you dont feel joy, are those new and interesting things something you actually enjoy and want? or is it just something you feel you ‘should’ enjoy and want because other people would? same applies to volunteering. It may work for most people to do those specific things, but it’s not gonna be fulfilling like that for everyone. You just have to find your niche and what you want for yourself. I hope you can.