Thank you for sharing your advice guys and it has helped me alot especially about keeping cool and responding but with a serial bully, any response is deemed angry! and exploited, or hateful- theres no reasoning with the unreasonable and its so exhausting, frustrating because i feel doomed if i do and doomed if i don’t with him and it’s not healthy for my kids, its abuse and I’m finding acceptance really hard, its fleeting acceptance it comes and goes and I know theres a lot of work to be done around it and that it will take time, i do give myself permission to do that i have come a long way, and its all about tweaking my plan and following through now and not even smoking now which is a miracle! not smoking means I’m finally removing the problem if i stay in this relation-shit i know il relapse and not just on the cigarettes!

still can’t believe its happening though.

the shelter idea-there is no physical violence- and emotional/mental abuse is really hard to prove since he’s such a charmer and has drummed into me that “no one will believe you’ and besides “his” house is our house i believe i am an equal breadwinner since i care for our kids and care for the house/cooking etc so kids and i are going nowhere will just have to wait till its all legally done, this days if you leave willingly he could well change locks etc. and he will never go since its “his’ house stuck for now.

proper limbo and icky feelings. pass out