Hey Helen.

I’m sorry to hear you’re having a rough time, but I’m in the same boat.
I’m not sure how old you are, but probably a similar age to me – I turn 25 in two months.

I, too, feel like I’m wasting my life in a meaningless career and the weather (in England) is getting to me.
It seems I just get up, head out in the rain and under grey clouds and work my boring and lackluster job.
A couple of months ago, I started a job in car insurance. I’ve done car insurance before.
I knew I wouldn’t like it going in, but y’all have to work, right?
I’ve had quite a few jobs because I get sick of them all fast.

My Mum thinks I’m weird for not liking any of the jobs I’ve tried, but who the hell likes insurance and admin?
People I can’t associate with, that’s who!
She’s starting to get it though, as I learn to communicate better and explain my ways to her.

Sometimes I feel like this society and way of living will never work for me.
We end up labeling ourselves as weak and not good enough, but we’re stronger and better than we have time to remember.

You sound just like me, and that likely means you’re an introvert and HSP (highly sensitive person) – not that I want to start putting labels on everything. Like you, I create music and it’s one of my passions (as well as learning about mental and physical health, and animal welfare). Of course, the World isn’t really throwing out job opportunities for things like that, so it leaves us in a tricky predicament, where we feel trapped and anxious. There seems to be no end in sight and we wonder if we’ll ever be content and feel like we belong. (I know you’re nodding your head right now…)

So, I don’t have the answers, but here’s a few things that help me. I don’t claim to be living my ideal life right now. But I get up and try my best every day. That’s all we can really do.

1) Stop trying to figure out an A-Z plan right now. When you’re frazzled after work, you need to give yourself space to breathe. In those moments of frustration and exhaustion, you’ll likely not figure out any solutions to your problems.

2) When it’s 5pm, say ‘Screw it. Thank fook I’m done for the day. This job isn’t worth making me depressed. I’m more than this. This is just a way I make money, for now… And then enjoy the time you can. A lot of rich people, or people who own businesses, have to carry their work home with them. We can just chill, even if we do just feel like another average rat in the factory. Quit dreading tomorrow and learn to stay present. Mindfulness isn’t an easy practice, but everyone recommends it. There must be a reason for that.

3) Be kind to yourself. We have special talents that aren’t being used enough. Just because the World is designed a certain way, it doesn’t mean it’s right. I mean, there’s a lot of awful stuff going on in this World… and it’s because a lot of people aren’t happy living with these set restraints. Learn to be your own friend and don’t beat yourself up for your personality and character. I bet you have more morals than many of the horrible people on this planet, who would step on their own friends to get success and power.

4) Realise you’re an introvert. The fact you’re tired after being in an open plan office isn’t some mystery, kiddo. You’re an introvert. That’s why you’re talented and creative with your music and probably other things like writing… your post was well written, by the way. There are lots of successful introverts too. J K Rowling and Emma Watson come to mind. (P.S… Emma Watson is Hot. Just sayin’)

5) Make time to express yourself in your own unique way. You don’t have to make everything happen overnight, and you’ll only burn out if you try. But try working on some music at least once a month. Not sure you record, but you should look to… I’ll link some of my stuff in a sec, if you’re interested. I work full-time and I know it can be hard to have the time and energy to commit to the things we really care about… I’m working on it.

6) You’re not alone. Just find comfort in knowing there are millions of people who feel like you do. Some feel exactly the same (ME!)

7) Schedule things every week – stuff you can look forward to. Do what feels good for you. Stop trying to be a people pleaser, if you are. Personally, I decline any invites to parties and stuff. I don’t enjoy them. I prefer spending my Friday nights in front of my TV watching Netflix, cuddled up to my girlfriend and dog. It’s much better to be open and honest about who you are. If someone doesn’t like you, that’s cool. You don’t have to waste your time on someone who doesn’t appreciate you. Screw ’em. Their loss and all that.

8) Check out some podcasts. A few I listen to (search iTunes) are ‘The anxiety coaches podcast’, ‘The self-help podcast’ and ‘anxiety slayer’.

That’ll all for now. I have a habit of staying up late too… just because I enjoy the quiet and peace I can finally experience at night time. But sleep is important for people like us, especially!

Check my YouTube channel out, if you like: http://www.youtube.com/stefanalexlay
I have a song called Corporate Hell that you’ll almost definitely relate to: https://soundcloud.com/stefan-lay/corporate-hell

I’ve got some music on my YouTube page, but mainly I speak about anxiety and depression. Stuff like that.

I hope it doesn’t seem like I’m plugging myself. I just felt like it’d be good to speak to someone like-minded.

Take care x