Martin im pretty new to this aswell and kind of had the same feelings… like i wanted to share my views and what the buddhism means to me. I am not a buddhist, but my experiences i relate a lot to the buddhist views and perspectives.

I totally agree with what u say around changing… sometimes we dont change.. no matter what happens, we do make those same mistakes, which i suppose you can link in patience that i talk about in mine. Sometimes u may feel u make the same mistakes in the same situations but it maybe is a test to see if we have learnt from the previous time?

I have felt in the past worthless and useless…except of course from my family like u say. But its about reliezing what we have and learning to be comfortable with that. Tis true that people are in much worse situations than us, but our pain cannot be ignored because its our pain, it is important to us.

I also agree with what u say about the fact we can learn something from everyone. thats kinda something i have just reliezed because i have been dwelling on the past and how people have treat me, but today in fact, i thought about how much they have actually taught me. i am glad for the negative situations i was in with them because they have taught me something…taught me that patience i was looking for. I was angry and hateful towards them, but now, I feel forgiving and thankful. There behaviour was unacceptable and they know that, I do not want to speak to them ever again or have them cross by path, but at the end of the day i feel some release now that i forgive them and look at the experience as providing me with the learning i needed. now i am in a much better place than i was because instead of being upset and dwelling, i am happy knowing that they ‘helped me’.