@calebw , sorry to hear you’re having such a tough time. Now on what to do – I can definitively say you should stick with your parents’ path and be miserable til you’re 18. That may sound crazy, but here’s my reasoning. Your parents want what’s best for you. They’re human, imperfect, and will have their own challenges (such as your dad’s high standards,etc) but they are trying to do their best to steer you down a drug and alcohol-free path where you will stay out of situations that might hurt your opportunities for the future. Their swift and intense reaction to your drug use is a huge indicator of that. They desperately want you on a good path, and will do whatever it takes to get you there. They know you need to finish school and that dropping out for a job right now won’t lead you to the life you want or are capable of. You may not recognize these things right now, but your parents are right (I’m 31, and looking back, have seen exactly how many thing my parents were right about in my teenage years 😉 it’s humbling!)

Although it seems like a nightmare right now, try to think about the love they’re showing you by keeping you away from some of your old habits. Like the posters above said – these things are escapes from anxiety. We all use escapes, but some are more productive than others. You may have to live with the anxiety for awhile (teenage years are full of unpleasant emotions and growth!) so what could you do that is a more positive coping mechanism? Some people write, others exercise, some garden or build things, etc. Channel your anxiety into an activity that makes you forget it. Mine is singing and songwriting – yours will be wherever your passion lies.

In the meantime, challenge yourself to see your parents’ actions as an indication of just how much they love you and want to see you happy and successful (however you define that). This is hard on them too – drug use and self-harm are serious issues with potentially lifelong repercussions, so they’re doing whatever they can to keep you on the straight and narrow – even if it’s a tough love approach. I promise if you follow their path, you will be grateful when you’re a few years older, in a good place, and looking back on this time.