Dear TheTHinker:
I hope that in your counseling session you and your wife studied Interpersonal Skills- for example communicating with EAR: Empathy, Assertiveness, Respect. EAR entails a lot of skills and practice- did the counselor address this? Teach you? Did you practice?

My answer to When is it too late? It will be a problematic Too Late situation if you have a child together, so i hope you do not, until and if the interpersonal skills are learned and practiced.

And it might be too late or just No-point-to-it if she or you or both are not willing, not motivated to learn the skills and practice them over time, with patience but with full intent and goodwill.

Take care and please post again:
anita