Dear TheThinker:
You wrote that the counseling session you went to were of quality because great tools were offered and taught, so lack of or ineffective counseling/ therapy is not the problem. You wrote that you are the one trying to use them but she did not and is not trying to use them. Obviously, these kinds of tools are meant for BOTH parties to use them together. You cannot do it alone… So, my logic goes- no hope for the relationship unless she becomes willing to use those tools and you become re-motivated to use them.

You write that it looks like her motivation in psychotherapy sessions was to make you wrong and herself right- this is a common motivation and a dead end in a relationship.

When to throw the towel? As a child myself born to a mother and father who shouldn’t have had me, I say: throw in the towel BEFORE you have a child. From a point of view other than my projection into the unborn, this is my input:

when you are ready.

Take Care:
anita