I do have a little advice. I’ve been on Celexa for many years – getting off of it is worse than the reason I started.

However….
I suggest you do go on something (I recommend Celexa for several reasons), and set a goal to only be on it for 6 months to a year. During that time, getting some CBT is the best.

I think once you get chemically balanced, you’ll see how your thinking changes from the way it is now. It’s amazing to be unaware of the chemical ditch you’ve been in, and to find out that there’s a much better level of life when your brain stops working against you. A brain that gives you constant negativity is not chemically balanced. I do think anti-depressants are a gift to our century. But with a goal in mind and some consistent therapy, you can train your brain to behave differently while on the drugs. You will really notice how the negativity lightens up, which will make you more aware of what it’s like for your husband to live with you. It’s a huge challenge to be a partner to someone who is chronically depressed – you may try to fake it, but everyone feels a depressed person’s energy.

Before you start medication, learn all about what it takes to withdraw from it so you are prepared for that process when the time comes. I wish you the very best and hope my suggestions are helpful. I’ve been working with these things for a very long time.
Blessings.
Abhai