Dear Vidalevi:
Child killing was a traditional value and practice:parents used to have the legal right to kill their children. Somebody decided it was not ethical, not right, not just to kill a child, even if it by a parent. So it became illegal and punishable by law. This is an example of something traditional that is not right and not just.

If your mother/ parents wanted to introduce a man to you because it is traditional to do so, why not, I would say- resepect tradition and meet the man they think you should marry. No harm done: meet him. Then make YOUR OWN evaluation about whether you want to meet him a second time.

You choose WHAT tradition to accept in your life and what tradition to reject. Your well being is your responsibility. Your job is to be good to yourself. Who will take this job if you do not? Obsiously it is not your mother’s job- your well being is not something she is working for.

The whole purpose of tradition is to benefit the individual, that is, support the tribe becasue the tribe protects the individual. Supporting the tribe when you don’t need the tribe for your benefit makes no sense. See what i mean???

Take care of yourself:
anita