Dear Tat:
You already know that your relationship with him is not right- it is not right for you, for him, and for the woman he is officially involved with and maybe marry and have children with. It is wrong for all involved. You wrote: “I appreciate that he sounds like an a.hole and I’m starting to think he might be.” My next sentence is going to be tough for me to type and maybe tough for you to read; before i type it i will qualify that my intent is not to be rude to you but to be helpful, at least this is my hope and nothing else… so here is the sentence i jus qualified: if he is an a. hole so are you! After all he is not doing what he is doing alone. You are responsible for your part in every interaction. He is responsible only for his part.

You asked: “Can someone please help me figure out a way to move on.” How about starting with taking responsibility for your part in every ineraction. Although you are not responsible for his behavior, you are responsible for yours. You were lead and are lead by your feelings although your rational mind is telling you that you are NOT operating for your best interests. I hope you learn to operate in ways that make you feel AND think well about yourself.

I have done in my life many things I shouldn’t and I will continue to make mistakes (“To err is human.”). It has been very difficult for me to forgive myself for some of those errors, ongoing errors… I hope I am finally at the place of having forgiven myself. Not carrying guilt anymore- what a torture that was! I wish the same for you.

Take care:
anita