Dear anomalia,

I’m new here but I want to share my thoughts with you 🙂

First of all I’d like to share my belief that we’re all abnormal. It worries you so much to think of yourself as ‘other’ (you even express that in the username you’ve chosen!), it seems like it is shaking your core, but please know that ‘normal’ does not exist. That is what makes us so unique and I think that is something we should try to appreciate. Life would be terribly boring otherwise!

You say that you would be the ‘ideal son in law’ and you state nice things about you but you don’t sound as if you believed that these characteristics of yours are worth anything. Other people may define you through your education, your looks etc. and that’s fine, but as long as you don’t value that, it’s not really worth much. I’m not trying to say that you need to change your attitude though. I rather think it may be essential for you to find something that gives your life meaning. Something through which you can define yourself, and positively so. For me, that is teaching. I’m in a teacher training programme at my Uni because I feel that I may be able to change a few students’ lives for the better, and that is what keeps me going through harsh times.

Luckily for myself I haven’t had any experiences being that unhappy with myself, therefore I can’t give you much advice on whether there’s anything you could change about yourself to minimise this self hatred you’re talking about. You sound like you were accusing yourself for being bisexual. I guess sexuality isn’t something one can consciously change (or can you?) but I don’t think you need to change. You sound like a nice person, you care for yourself and you want to experience better times again. Believe me, you will once you’ve come to accept yourself for the lovely person you surely are 🙂