this sounds so horrible

but it also sounds like none of this is your boyfriends fault… i hope this does not sound harsh, but, if he is being treated by them this way, that abusive and controlling behavior will cause him to yield to them because that’s how abuse works.

what you want is 100% fair, and its good that you can see what is going on for what it is, but it seems like this is out of your control. it seems like the only way anything is going to be different is if A) he goes to family therapy with his parents and works things out with them somehow or B) you two figure out the financial means to move away somewhere together…

it is extremely unfortunate that his parents have become so pervasive that they are coming between your relationship. they are absolutely out of line, everything you have listed there.

i have to tell you though: you are not in the wrong in any way, as far as what i can deduce from what you have written. don’t let anybody let you think so.