Dear Pat:
A couple of things come to my mind as I think about your post:
1) You tried to be strong for the girl and for your uncle. You acted strong while she broke down, in front of your friends in your mall and while your uncle broke down to cocaine addiction (What is the nature of your ex gf breaking down… repeatedly???)

But you broke down having had an anxiety attack at work, quitting your job and being tormented by your ex gf’s words.

Will you say your tendency is to help others while not taking care of yourself? Paying attention to others’ distress while pushing down your own distress?

If so, when did it start (a childhood pattern)? How is it working for you?

2) You wrote that your ex gf used to break down but you did not write what was that about or if there is a connection between those breakdowns and her becoming rude later (emotional problems on her part?) And when you did talk to her again, you wrote that you got things off your chest. But did you ask her for the intent she had in saying the words that so haunt you? This would be a way for you to come to some kind of peace with those words- to ask the one who said them for her intent instead of guessing what they meant…

What do you think so far about what i wrote here?
anita