Dear ajs88:
Do you have children? They are to consider on the subject of breaking up…

Not considering children, it seems to me that you believe that you are protecting him from financial disaster and greater depression IF you broke up with him, if you separated. But this may not be so at all. It very well may be that your disapproval of him encourages his depression, keeps it in place. It could be that he (secretly) wishes you did break up with him. It could be that she is afraid for your well being if he broke up with you… I don’t know. The thing is I don’t need to know because i am not involved with him. But do you know or are you locked in your assumptions, your current perspective? Are you attached to your understanding as it currently is that you are not open to SEE what is real? Not open to see the bigger perspective? What if he loves and needs you AND he would be better off separated from you?

What if when separated, without the extra distress he is likely feeling KNOWING YOU DISAPPROVE OF HIM, what if he gets energized and get his life together?

I hope you take care of yourself and as you do that- he will take care of yourself.

You obviously TRIED very hard and for a long, long time to NOT feel angry at him for not working and for being passive in face of your financial problems. You tried but the anger and resentment keep coming back. What if you honor your feelings and separate from him?

Your sacrifice is hurting you… and it probably hurts him too. No win-lose or lose-win relationship is a good idea. Stick to win-win and life will be as good as it gets.

Take care:
anita