BTW: My shame is about mental health problems that I felt I had never asked for and felt it was incredibly unfair that despite all my better intentions I was still prone to feeling unhappy or anxious and that I didn’t deserve to have those problems (I felt that it made me de facto unacceptable to have mental health problems and that I would be looked down on for having them, rather than being a ‘normal’, ‘not damaged’ person). If you’re telling yourself all this bollocks, you’re really just punishing yourself for no reason. It is true that no one is normal. I make it my mission nowadays to notice all of the ways that everybody else in the world is insecure, has occasionally distorted thinking, gets unnecessarily emotional or overreacts (I am yet to meet anyone who this is not true for now and again and I have also realised I do not do it more often than they do – i.e. I am totally normal. The only time I behave in ways that is less ‘of the norm’ is when I am stuck in a pattern of screaming at myself for not being normal).

You may be of a mixed gender identification, but have you considered how common this is? You are not alone, there are many people like you, and anyway, is that ALL of your identity? Is ALL of your identity connected to whether you like trousers or skirts and whether that changes? Or do you like tennis and rock music? And do you like watching soaps, or perhaps you prefer thrillers? There is more to you than one little thing and people see you as a whole person not as one trait (and they may not judge that trait the way you expect them to).