Inky and Denise thank you for your responses they have been hugely helpful in gaining an outside perspective on what I’m going through. Anita, thank you for your description of what I feel is definitely what happened during the argument. Through reflecting on what you have said I wholeheartly feel as though relieving my distress short term isn’t beneficial for me. In terms with what’s really going on I feel an underlying sense of a power struggle(?) in the relationship and to move forward I need a relationship that is both healthy and balanced (I would like to work at this with him together if at all possible but do not know how to approach him about it). I’ve recently finished university for the summer and now have more time to reflect on our relationship and there feels at times a push and pull between us? (it’s the only way I can describe it). For instance I feel as though I could say one small thing and he will take it the complete opposite to what I meant, leaving me baffled and upset at how he could think I meant it in that way. Other times I stay quiet and do not react as I do not want something small to escalate between us (as I can sense in my bones that it will). While being in the relationship I have changed and grown for the better and I feel as though he may still hold an old perception of who I was prior to our relationship (we were acquaintances back in our ‘party days’ and very different people to who we are now). This I fear is what comes out within our arguments, especially the hurtful things that are being said and I wonder if he will always view me in a certain light. I know in my heart while he says these hurtful things to me during an argument that it isn’t who I am, so when I plead with him it’s hugely conflicting as long term I feel as though I am not being true to myself. I hope this makes sense