Dear Trixie:
I went on a personal tantrum there. Having calmed down a bit I want to restate: it is regrettable that your mother is sick and suffering. I hope you help find her help from an agency or the like. Calmly set your limits with your ailing mother. Being respectful to her is the best you can do. Or should do. Driving yourself crazy busy is not something you should do. Nobody knows who is going to get sick next. It is so very scary to me, how insecure life is. You don’t want to get so distressed that you get into a traffic accident and get injured or dead… or get sick yourself. Take care of yourself first, then your children, then your (decent, I assume) husband.

Please post again and hope things get better for you.
anita