Dear mossyyogi:
The Inner Critic is the voice in us that says to us: “You are an less than others” for example. The Outer Critic is the voice in us that would say: “He/ she is less than me.” The Inner Critic and the Outer Critic are two faces of the same coin. I shifted from one to another throughout much of my life. When a person’s Outer Critic is employed, as in the case of your parents, it is helping them shift the critical voice from being directed against themselves to others, but there is no healing in doing that.

Understanding MORE about their motivation, unconscious as it is, MAY help you. It may help you feel empathy for them, knowing that when they reject inconsequential imperfections in others they are really rejecting their own imperfections.

As you heal and EVOLVE, there will be less and less people you will feel compatible with for closer relationships, including your parents. So the changing of the quality of your relationship with your parents is expected. There will be a shift over time, a different kind of appreciation, a different thinking adjustment.
anita