Hi Keon – From what I’m hearing is that you are going through lots of pain and a little anger. I would suggest you calling or having someone else set up an appointment as soon as possible for you to seek therapy and possibly medication. In many cases as yours, medication will benefit you to get you seeing a clear picture so that you can determine the true issue. It sounds to me you have a moderate case of depression. It is treatable and can be overcome fairly quickly. Have you suffered from depression for a long time or is this an acute situation? Negative thoughts can be changed by simply replacing them with positive thoughts. Write down ten positive things about yourself. When you begin thinking negative thoughts read and re-read these positive things about yourself. You mention a disconnect with your family. Try to sit down with them and take small steps to reconnect. Maybe simply just sit down and watch tv together or sit down a during dinner time and have dinner. Remember…you are not alone. I urge you to seek therapy. If you want to speak with someone over the phone a Crisis-Help line is there for you. 1(800)273-8255 If you need immediate help call 911.

Hope this helps.