Hi Danielle,

The important thing to remember in a relationship is that you both are dealing with fears and doubts. Everything he says and does is only a reflection of HIS own fears. But then, you might misunderstand what he says (or he may misunderstand you) due to your own fears and doubts.

Remember that his words and actions are NEVER about you–they are NEVER more than a broadcast of his fear. One thing that might really help is asking open ended questions. Ask him WHY he says and does something, using his exact words. This will lead him to think about his reasons for doing and saying what he does, and it will also help keep you from making assumptions.

And look at your relationship with yourself. What is it that he is “providing” for you? Why are you unable to provide that for yourself? The journey toward understanding others always begins by looking within.

Bethany
http://onlinetherapyandcoaching.org