Dear confused-gal-78:
There is a way to be way less confused and that is to gather evidence. Life should not be a guessing game, not completely anyway. We can minimize the guessing and increase our chances for success. You wrote: “I can only guess that he means this in the same way when he says it to me.” See, you don’t have to “only guess.” Ask him what he means and listen to his answer – or lack of answer.

You have a choice, to “get back with him” as you wrote above, or not to- but not right away: you do not have enough information to make this decision.

When you are about to make a decision in any other area of life outside a relationship, don’t you gather information? If you want to buy a car, don’t you look at ads, see what is available, what to look for in a particular ad (price, mileage, etc) – why not gather information BEFORE you make a decision. No rush!

Once you patiently gather information and have enough to it- then you can make a decision. This should not be a .. must decide now or the opportunity will disappear. Why don’t you tell him you want to talk and find out where he is at and where you are at and meet him for coffee or tea and CONVERSATION. Apply the Scientific Method, apply science to this, the gathering information step.

You worte you don’t know exactly how you feel about this man. No wonder you don’t. You don’t know him! Not really. And you don’t know what to do for the best- how can anyone know what to do in your situation- I don’t. The wisest person has no way of knowing without gathering information, giving time to find out those things. You asked: “if I get back with him will it work out?If I stay away will I be happy?” Nobody can tell the future but you can maximize your chances to be happy if you don’t go about this blindly, as if life is a magic thing, a rabbit out of a hat. Find out how life works and you will be on top of things, you will have lots of control over things that are under your control. No more confusion. It feels great to not be confused when confusion is not at all necessary.

What do you think???
anita