Dear Lotus:
I am impressed by how you acknowledged every person who commented on your post, being gracious with each and asking clarification or just gratitude. In this response you demonstrate, I believe, good people skills, which makes me wonder about your stated lack of success in connecting in the work place. There is the fact that you are the youngest there- perhaps the rookie affect among the old timers? A certain kind of work prejudice toward the newbies, especially a young newbie? Could be, in which case it is not your failure in small talk or other people skill, but their own prejudice is the cause. (thinking outside the box here, a good idea, isn’t it? May have no indication of any lack on your part…

Regarding staying in the presence, this is what i am finding out recently: first, if you are not used to living in the present you can’t progress too quickly, no matter how motivated you may be- it is not a matter of trying hard enough, this is the thing: you have to take small steps, bigger steps will be counterproductive. Over time you find out more and more what it means to live in the presence. It is a growing awareness through patient persistence over a long time. So, it is not something that can be taught- it has to be experienced. You can read about living in the present, MINDFULNESS, for example I liked what i read recently in Idiot guide to Zen living- excellent, practical suggestion about living in the present. I highly recommend. As time goes on, with practice, you find yourself NOT bored because something is always happening. There no longer is anything too small to notice and to capture your interest. It is no longer the “big things” only. No thing is too small, so you are less and less bored and less anxious and depressed. It is NOW, NOW, NOW. Like I wrote, it’s been taking me since early 2011 of persistence, day after day and I am now in a different place. Can’t be taught. Has to be practiced. For a jump start, i hope, the Idiot Guide is one place. there are many other sources online if you google mindfulness.
best wishes to you:
anita