Hey dear blessing,

Life is like a ride, or can say a two wheeler vehicle- we need to balance both the wheels in a way so not to lose the balance.
Oh it is your husband’s second marriage, and how do you deal with that? I can understand how challenging it must be for you.
I have given up, I am really tired and exhausted of putting up with that stress and fear, really I am exhausted. I do not want to fight with him, yes still there are certain things which bothers me to the core, but I am avoiding because when i present it to them, he does not like my way of approaching to him that I am always complaining, and when I say something then he does not like why am i expressing even, and if i do not he misses that as well. Like he wanted to spend too much on kitchen utensils and extras on saturday morning, I did not stop him for anything, because that dialogue he said in our last fight is still in my mind ” You are controlling my life” I have told him enough that we need to balance our finances. So i remain quiet and continued to help him in shopping, everytime he picks something up and he asks me can I, or how do you find this? He was examining my expressions and I was really fine, yes was feeling something inside that we do not need to spend that much money, but I was quite as financial year is ending this month and he will get this money back from his tax and all. wE can claim as he is a CHEF by profession, so he can get some kitchen tools for himself. I continued to be quiet and he said later on, hope its not the silence before the storm, I said no i am perfectly fine with this shopping, you love kitchen tools and i love clothes so its fine, after this i will do my shopping 😉 . after my shopping he made some sarcastic comments too, but i took it in a healthy way, because I remember what happened when i felt bad on his joke of me eating too much, so I know the anger is just for the moment and later on I have to pay huge cost- in terms of time, availability for eachother and then wasting time in making up because its always me who is saying sorry at the end, because I do not want to drag to the next day, and due to which i have started feeling so small, small in terms as if I am the only one who is full of flaws and all. Thats why I continued to remain calm and i laugh on his sarcasm notes, i took it in a healthy way. and then he went for his bachelor’s party. today I was at work and he sent a message to me telling me about sudden change in his shift timings, and for three days, we wont be saying each other because when I finish his shift starts, and he sent a text saying i have got different shifts for the next 3 days i replied saying that is fine, thats okay. He said are you fine with htis, I replied saying yes, absolutely. Then he said can we talk I am on a short break, if possible for me. I rang him and he said we can go somewhere on the weekend, if I want. I reminded him of the dinner invite we have from one of his friend. He said check if that is not confirmed, we cna go out. I didnt say anythigm neither I am believing him, because he normally believes in saying things and he does not do that. Especially such things of taking me out, to have our alone time. He prefers to go out in group and with people along. and i know our car is not in a condition that we can go out and I ended the conversation saying yeah thats fine, we will see once weekend comes.
Thanks Anita for being there with me . I love you.

Stay blessed and healthy.