Dear Jacob:
I have a very active analytical mind. I would probably ask him when his trouble started. i would be curious if his parent/s mistreated him (can happen in an advantaged family as you put it). I would try to dig deep enough to find out the origin of the trouble and then (I shouldn’t but) I would try- if I follow my past patterns- to FIX him. Then I would fail, of course, feel frustrated and angry at him for not …. listening to me and following my lead and instructions about how he should heal himself. I would find myself having wasted a lot of my time and energy for nothing- he would be in the same spot- not in a better spot and I would be exhausted and distressed.

If I was the more effective me in that situation… I would say: I am sorry to see you in so much pain. How can I help?” And if he gives me a specific answer and it is doable for me and I think it may help him if I do as he asked, then I will.
anita
anita