Dear Sweet:
When he started the car before you were ready, did the same thing happened before this time? Did you tell him before to please wait before he starts the car until you are completely seated and belt on? I wonder if he is AWARE of it? You wrote you don’t know if it is intentional or not- if you tell him clearly, not angrily but clearly that you need to be seated before he starts the car and he does it again, and you repeat the same and he does it again and again… there is a problem- maybe he is too distressed to pay attention or who knows, there could be a passive aggressive intention, BUT how do you know if you didn’t tell him clearly what the problem is? This is the A in EAR, Assertiveness.

When he forgot going to your office to have lunch with you, I wonder if he is so busy, worried and/ or distressed that he really forgets things to do. In that case, maybe if you keep a small callendar by the bed or on the refrigerator, a calendar where you write engagements only between you and him, like “Lunch” on the particular date and ask him to get to the habit of looking in it. Or you and him have a few moments every morning or evening to talk about things.

These are things you may do on the “outside’ to improve things. Then there are things on the inside, in your own brain, changes, like you have been doing. You are tired of the old ways and you are ready for new ways. You have some experience with the new ways, you just want them to last longer and longer and it is possible- there is a lot of hope in knowing it is possible, that the success you experienced can be extended, never perfect, but improved.

You mentioned some history with pregnancies. What are you going to do if…? Do you have a plan regarding children?

I am doing fine. I feel stressed at times, maybe too much caffeine, maybe I need to do something more than I am doing. I will find out.

Looking forward to your next post. I do like getting them!
anita