It sounds like you keep making “the same mistakes” because you have not changed your train of thought/way of thinking. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Start with how you think, and observe what goes on in your mind before you speak. Ask yourself questions like: Is this hurtful? Is there a way to show more appreciation/respect? And keep moving forward. The more you keep yourself in the past with the guilt, the more it’s going to hurt. You need to try to let it go. You can do that by meditating or lulling yourself to sleep with good thoughts of healing and feeling optimistic.