Dear val:
At 35 I went on Zoloft, it is an SSRI antidepressant. I went up to 400 mg per day then 300 mg per day for years after. I also took Klonipin, anti anxiety and risperdol or Seroquel both which are anti psychotics. I started on Zoloft after complaining about obsessive thinking. The other were added later. Ever few years I tried to get off those and was unsuccessful. After 16 years I tried again and was off all drugs for 3 months. i exercised heavily and started yoga but severe anxiety attacks and I went back on a different SSRI, Luvox, smaller dose as well as the others. A year later I tried again, this time more gradually and this time after more yoga experience and daily exercise and most importantly, after a couple of years of heavy duty psychotherapy, teh first serious psychotherapy in my life (CBT, Dialectical, Mindfulness) where I learned skills how to deal with anxiety. I am now, at 54 and a half free of all psch drugs for a year and a half.

It was H.E.L.L trying to get off these every single time. Every time I tried I felt worse than what brought me to take those in the first place. The anxiety when off drugs was way worse than before. And I wasn’t aware so much that I was depressed until I stopped those. All hell broke loose and although my life is not roses now, it was again HELL getting of those- years of gradual weaning and staying off.

At times I felt better with the drugs but I can assure you my life did not get better one iota as a result of taking these drugs- my functioning was worse adn worse over time, and like any drug they stop working and i took them just not to feel worse.

this is my experience. these drugs do not cure anything at all. At best they should be used for a very short time- months (not 17 years like in my case) and only if one is about to hurt oneself…I hope you find another way.
anita