Yonderbell,

Sometimes when we’ve outgrown our nest, that nest begins to contract in order to push us out. You’ve noticed for a long time you weren’t happy, weren’t being validated, being used but unappreciated. But also, you had concrete boots. Now, that concrete has been shattered, and you have a firm boot on your bottom to get the funk out.

It’s normal to be afraid of the unknown. Natural. Only sociopaths don’t feel fear. But you are also surrounded by blessings, many fortunate events that are helping your new phase begin. Said differently, you’re being pushed out of your nest with strong wings already grown. Though it’s difficult to trust, try to relax and do just that. 25 years at one company shows loyalty, and in this day, that’s a rare commodity. You also have a good buyout, so you don’t have to scramble. Good things, friend.

As for the tears, yes, let them flow, its alright. The lack of validation, then leading to a one sided breakup naturally produces grief. It reminds me of a toxic relationship breakup. The company is fat headed, organisationally egoic, distracted, negligent. There comes a point when the quest to find validation from a toxic employer (or partner) has to be let go of, cried out, yelled out, shaken off. Be patient with yourself as you do this, and it will fade away as you heal.

Finally, what do you want to do? If you could do anything, what would that be? Consider: you’re approaching a blank canvas with many wonderful colors, and you can paint almost anything you want. The confines of the nest sometime make it difficult to dream, but as your tears dry, consider resting with those questions in your heart. The path will open up before you, when the time is right. Relax!

With warmth,
Matt