Wow you are analysing everything to the nth degree.

It sounds to me like you come from a normal family. Your mum and dad have brought you up according to their beliefs, personality and attitudes and inevitably you are affected and the lion’s share of your genes come from them. They may not be perfect, that would be your idea of what perfection is, but presumably they love you, fed you, looked after you, set your boundaries and put up with you. By the way, loving someone and understanding them is not always the same thing.

Your Mum and sister may be overbearing by nature and, depending on your personality, it may be a bit grating. I love my Dad like mad but he is without doubt and control freak, so we have a lot of bickering in our relationship. You may have to say once in while that ‘I love you but you are a bit overbearing Mum’ at least so she knows where you are coming from. If your sister is competitive, though you have not said how, then just say ‘Well I just dont have the same aspirations as you and I really dont have to’ and be done with it. Be careful how you say it though, be nice as oppossed to offish and condescending. Let her be competitive but you dont have to buy into it.

If your sister wants to be adored for her looks, well it’s not my idea of things and you may, occasionally say, vanity makes it hard for people to get old and, if other people dont like the way you look then that is their problem, but dont lecture her because she will just be defensive. But in fact, it is down to her what her aspirations are in life, she doesnt have to buy into your ideas anymore than you dont have to buy into hers so I would just let her get on with it for the most part. You are not responsible for her self esteem. She is a grown up. If she asks for help and advise give it but dont force it otherwise just slip in the odd tactful remark.

If your parents are superficial well that is up to them. It is your Mum’s life and your Dad’s life. They are individuals.

If you want to pursue a creative career do so. Maybe you have to get it out of your system. You havent specified exactly what you want to do but give it a go. Whether you can make a living out of it is another matter because there are umpteen people who want to make a career out of creative things but if it doesnt work out you will just have find something else to do. People are not necessarily defined by their work anyway.

You use are alot of arty farty terms which I guess you would if you’re heavily into tiny buddha, but remember your values and ideas are not necessarily better than anyone elses. Try to think about things from your mum and sister’s point of view and not just from your own. You know what they say ‘first understand others then better be understood yourself.’

Talk to your friends about your problems, try not to be too self indulgent, but it could be that they are not very good friends. Or maybe they are just aquaintences, which is not the same thing really.

If you suffer from social anxiety seek help maybe from counselling, an experienced person or from a good self help book. If you are suffering from depression you may need some advise and direction from a medical professional.

By the way you are an individual and living at home is not unusual and there is alot of patience and understanding in families usually required on all sides.

Best wishes my dear.