Hi kitsune, I think this is a great conversation you have started here.
I am at place in my life where I’m really not sure what to pursue. However I have been playing piano and heavily involved in many musical activities for the last 10 years of my life. So since I am unsure of what to do, I have chosen piano performance as my main focus for the moment. I am attempting to put together a concert program for an international competition which takes immense amounts of demanding, monotonous, frustrating practice time.

Creative pursuits are so wonderful. I definitely understand what you mean when you say writing is therapeutic. I think creating allows us to open up the most raw parts of ourselves and make something out of it, all the while evolving personally and intellectually. But of course, like most creatives, productivity is sometimes a big obstacle. I know that there will be times when I am able to learn and emotionally grasp a piece so well, as if the music is literally a part of me. While at other times, I have to spend 6 months of gruelling work just to be able to play one page of a 60 page piece. These are the types of things that make me lose interest and motivation. Then of course I begin to think “There are so many other pianists and musicians in the world, far more talented than I, who could grasp this material in no time. And here I am, barely able to make sense of it.” And so the external comparisons begin. But then I regain perspective after a while and realize that I play music for myself – not to have to prove to people that I am better than them, or because there are people who excel faster than me. Something I find that helps greatly when you’re feeling low is to look back on your past self – 1 month, 1 year, 5 years, however long ago, and observe all of the growth that you have achieved since then. And in the end, I know that however difficult it may be to be an artist, it would hurt so much more not to be one. Regardless of whether or not I actually end up doing an international competition or not, music has taught me so much about patience and battling through hardships. I know that I now have much more endurance when it comes to projects that do not unfold quickly.

As for how I fit in around my life, I have luckily earned enough certification to become a piano teacher. So I teach during the evenings and practice anywhere from 2-7 hours during the day depending on my schedule.