Dear Shirley:

I suppose you feel like you are most yourself when you are alone because you are scared when around people, scared to be more hurt than you already are. It means people have hurt you. On one hand, then, you need people and on the other you are afraid of more pain. is it so? If it is- or whatever it is- this is what you need to listen to. You need to listen to your emotions: what are they telling you? Who hurt you? When? How? What is hurting? The spiritual quest is in the emotions.
anita