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Thank you both.
I guess I didn’t give much info…
I’ve written here before, so I’ll give you the brief:
I took the acne medication Accutane around 10 years ago.
I’m now 25.
It had a very negative effect on my body and mind.
I suffer from terrible anxiety and depression at times… and today is one of those days where everything seems negative, hopeless and pointless.
My main struggle is with being chronically fatigued.
I have the odd day where I feel okay, but most days are spent in a fog – one in which I cannot concentrate and it’s a real struggle to get out of bed.
I’m still living with my Mum (and step-dad) but I feel so trapped by circumstances.
I’m so fed up of my job and every time I leave a job, I end up back in a very similar scenario because the economy is a mess and let’s face it – we need money to live and survive. Being unemployed isn’t much fun either.
I have a soundcloud page, blog and YouTube channel (I’ve privated all my videos today, because I felt like hiding every part of myself from the World). Sometimes I feel I have talent and something to offer the World. But a lot of the time I feel self-loathing and feel completely worthless and like my life has no use.
I’d love to make a difference – God knows the World needs some people doing good – but I’m just so stuck, have been for a long time and I don’t know where to go from here. I work in Insurance by the way – just a standard lame job that pays the bills, but ultimately leaves me empty inside.
I feel like everything would be okay if I could sort my physical health out.
But I’ve really tried.
I feel like this all comes down to Accutane. So many people whine about how it wrecked their life… and I don’t want to sit around feeling helpless and like a victim, but sometimes it’s really hard, you know?
I eat really well compared to almost everyone I know and I’m still so limited.
I cannot drink alcohol or have coffee or do the things ‘Normal/Happy’ people do without falling flat on my ass.
It’s like my body can’t handle anything.
And now I’m trying a gluten free diet, but ultimately I’ve lost all hope and feel like this is another thing that won’t work.
Bear in mind, it’s been a long time of trying to make things okay.
I’ve put in a lot of effort and it’s heartbreaking to repeatedly get nowhere.
I’ve lost basically all of my friends because I can’t seem to escape my mind and am distant a lot of the time.
I’m introverted. I don’t even know if that’s just how I am, or if it’s because I’m ashamed of the shadow I’ve become.
I don’t know what you can say to help, but I’d appreciate your efforts.
I just want to feel anything but this.
And I know all about mindfulness, etc… I practice it a lot. But sometimes it just isn’t helpful, because my mind goes to dark places.