Dear blancarocio:

I agree: you will not be able to keep the father away from the child. The father, as you describe him, will be very motivated to exert his power, his influence over a weak, easily influenced, eager to please (his father, any father it may be). It will be a disaster for the child.

Although there is a small chance that the child will grow up to be healthy or productive or both (let’s say someone positive and capable enter your lives that will make such a great difference)- it is a very, very small chance. For every such one child there are thousands of children who will grow up to be miserable.

There is always an exception to the rule. Please don’t make a choice based on a hoped-for exception. Most likely, 99% or so, this will be bad for the child. Not to mention, bad for you. But my main concern is the well being of the innocent child.

anita