Dear anna2209:

Congratulations to this recent ex bf- effective job he did on you, successful! i don’t know how he did it, but good job. He got you were he wanted- on the wrong/ at fault side of things, which means he got himself where he wanted: on the right/ blameless/ victim side of things. And so he can go on living, go on to the next relationship where- if the next gf points out to him (like you did) his … faults- if he is as successfulas he was with you- he will place his faults, again, with her and keep himself a blameless victim of manipulative women.

This is how he operates, likely. So, he keeps himself blameless leaving on his path the casualties it takes to maintain his blameless-ness. THe causualties are women to take the blame.

How was he so successful. i am curious, so I will take a break here to re-read parts of your post (again, I am impressed. You seem to me to be intelligent enough. You also had, you write, a healthy relationship in your past, so I am curious what he did to be so successful)…SO, he was wonderful and charming showing a “loveing and nurturing side”- all very quickly, one week. In one week he loves you and you are all he ever wanted, one week plus (all in two months), the speed of light for such declerations to be believable… as i keep reading, I think I am getting it.

He very quickly put the carrot, so to speak, in front of you: you are everything he wanted and he never loved anyone as much as he loves you. So that is the carrot: the message that you are the greatest. Then the abrasive comments. You are already invested in being the best thing that ever happened to him so these faults about your dress allegedly smelling and you dancing wrong in public, well those are things YOU have to fix so you STAY the best thing that ever happened to him. You have to protect the status he gave you so quickly and easily.

Then you do have a moment of imperfection, impatient, being pushy with him when he is at work and bingo- his opportunity, the PROOF that indeed you are so very imperfect and lacking of the status he “gave” you so easily and so soon. Why, this is proof that you are manipulative and anything adn everything he can throw your way. And this is hard on you because indeed you were impatient, you were at fault for something.

And he used your imperfection at that incident at his work to cement your faultiness and now it is All Your Fault and None of his. Case closed.

Good job on his part, again. I hope you break that cement he made of your human imperfection as expressed during that time at his work. My goodness, I hope you stay away from this man. It is a shame that he will continue his path of destruction as he goes along. Do not make yourself a permanent victim of his doing. Learn from this and prevent this kind of dishonest MANIPULATION of YOU from happening in the future.

anita